Fear, Terror and Doubt

Fear. Doubt. Unknown. These three feelings can tear down and remove truth. The things I *know* to be true. I find myself entering theaters, stores, etc. looking for escape routes, imaging how I would react in a life or death situation. But you see, preparing is not the problem, fixating on it *is*. When I look too long at the "what ifs", I've allowed myself to look away from "what IS".

JESUS.

He goes before us. Each and every one of us will leave this earth one day. The how, when and why should never be our fixation. As the world grows darker, evil all around, our eyes should continually be looking to The LORD, seeking to do all HE'S called us to do in the short amount of time we're here, leading lost, hurting and broken souls to CHRIST. My main focus should *always* be to walk out steps of Faith in Love. Praying...looking to be HIS Hands and Feet to all I meet. No matter what! Never shrinking back, trusting daily in where HE is leading. And if I'm called home under tragic circumstances, I will be at rest in the Presence of my LORD and SAVIOR. 

My heart aches for all the family members of those lost in the San Bernardino shooting. Having experienced the loss of loved ones under different, yet tragic circumstances, I can relate to the pain and heartache. I continually pray for them. I lay them at The LORD'S feet daily and ask HIM to flood them with Comfort. 

Join me in Praying. Join me in choosing to be fearless in showing/sharing *The Love of CHRIST* over all else. The *Knowledge of Truth* over anything and everything that comes our way! 

"The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"~John 1:29

THE FIGHT

I sat in front of the pier, a group of homeless men of varying ages...early 20's to late 60's sat to my left. I silently prayed over them as my worship music loudly played. Another older homeless man with long gray, straggly hair pulled up on his bike, a worn cart attached to the back with a dog inside. He began screaming at a one of the younger homeless men...who in turn responded by yelling and charging towards him. They seemed to know each other and have some kind of long standing rift. Their anger began to escalate as they stood face to face just a few inches apart, taunting each other to throw the first punch while name calling.

I've never been one to just sit back and let things happen around me without trying to intervene. I quickly turned my bike around and pulled up next to them and shouted, " Stop it! Knock it off!" I repeated it several times, my music continue to blare, as I prayed that it would not escalate. They were oblivious to me or anything I was saying to them. But I continued to try, "Stop it! Calm down...don't do this!"

Finally a friend of the younger homeless man stepped in and pulled him away before either man threw a punch.

ANGER.

It can grip so hard and drag us in past the point of reason.

As I road away I thought about all the times in my life I've let anger get me to a point of really hurting people. I've said terrible things. I've lashed out trying to hurt people who I felt wronged me or my family. But then JESUS stepped into my life and filled my heart.

Don't get me wrong, I still get angry, but my reactions are much more controlled than before. I know how to diffuse it by running to The LORD. The enemy can use anger to control people. He hardens hearts and blinds eyes. He breaks up families and friendships.

Today if you find yourself held in angers grip, steal away to a quiet place, pray, ask The LORD to reveal truth, peace and His love over the situation. Never forget that JESUS makes ALL things new. Don't be deceived, don't stay captive in anger. JESUS has called you and I for more. Let His love seep into those hardened, hurting places. Let go. 

"Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry,
for anger rests in the bosom of fools."~Ecclesiastes 7:9

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."~James 1:19-20

"For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith." Romans 12:3

I Got Pulled Over For What...?

It was in that moment, after he walked back to the flashing lights, I was reminded to pray. I didn't want to...I was mad! I mean really, what CHP officer pulls someone over on the freeway for tinted windows? My hubby couldn't believe it. My mother-in-law and 98 year old aunt were sitting quietly in the back seat, a little perplexed by the whole situation. We had just finished a great day at The Flower Gardens and now this!

Let me back up for a minute to the start of my day. It all began with my morning prayer, "Lord, help me to be a light for You today, not my will but Yours. As you bring people in my path, remind me to pray for them. In Jesus' Name, Amen."

During the first part of the day, I prayed for several people as we walked through the beautiful gardens. My joy spilling out in prayer. 

Who know's, I may be the only person praying for them. I know the importance of prayer and I know The Lord has divine appointments for each of us daily. So, with that in mind, am I only called to pray for people during happy times? Or does The Lord want me to also pray for people who cross my path even in difficult ways?

I prayed for the police officer as he sat in his car writing my ticket. It wasn't as heartfelt as my prayers earlier in the day. But I prayed for a hedge of protection around him while he worked. I prayed that if he didn't know Jesus, He would meet the officer right where he's at. I prayed for peace and comfort for him and his family. Then I reluctantly signed my fix-it ticket.

Later I thought, "What if I'd been even bolder? What if I'd stepped completely outside of my situation, choosing to be, KING and KINGDOM focussed?"  What if I'd said, "Do you or any of your family and/or friends need prayer for anything? I send out prayer requests for my church and would love to pray for you." Of course this would have to be said after signing the ticket or it wouldn't be taken as a sincere request.

How powerful would that have been to truly show Christ-like love; not thinking of me, but him? Hmmm...difficult appointments that call me to rise higher, looking to Jesus for HIS WILL in my everyday situation. 
Lessons. Growth. Areas The Lord is asking me to go deeper in my faith and trust. 

I pray that each and every one of you has a deeper encounter with Jesus in the coming days and weeks. I pray you seek Him, He's calling you to be bolder in reaching out to others. You and I are called for more...KING & KINGDOM FOCUSSED. Let Christ be formed in and through you.

But Jesus answered them, “My Father has been working until now, and I have been working.”~John 5:17

"Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men"~1 Timothy 2:1

"praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints"~Ephesians 6:18

"Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart"~Luke 18:1

Do You Fall Prey To Crashing Emotions?

It was hard to swallow. Something wasn't right. I felt achy, tired and couldn't breathe. I knew my body was trying to fight off an impending attack. I began to load up on extra vitamins...trying to offer a counterattack to boost the unseen battle raging within. 

But what of the unseen daily battles of emotional attacks? Worry. Fear. Stress. Anxiety. Doubt. Depression. Pain. 

Why am I slow in defending against these often debilitating emotions?

I know immediately when I get that sinking feeling...when something's just not right. Why do I not run as quickly to what I know will offer a counterattack? I know what's lacking. 

Life has a way of throwing unexpected trials at me. Too often I let the emotions fester. They begin to overtake and the issue/problem becomes larger than I can bear. I fall prey to my crashing emotions.

The cure is swifter than any vitamins I may take for a physical illness. The affect of The LORD'S truth over my emotions is miraculous; all encompassing, unending in it's healing power.

So why do I wait to call to Him?

To Pray?

To read the Bible?

Why do I choose to sit alone and wallow in it?

Lord, today please help me to look to YOU First; spending time alone in YOUR Presence as YOU reveal truth to my soul...my heart...my emotions. Draw me close to YOU as YOU guide my way. Let my heart be filled with the knowledge of YOUR Truth & Light. Do not let me sit in the lies of crashing emotions. "YOUR rod and YOUR staff they comfort me." I say these things, in the name of my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, Amen. 

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4

"For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.” 
Jeremiah 31:25

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?"
Jeremiah 32:27

"Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth."
Jeremiah 33:6

The Struggle

I tried to hold them in. I struggled to put on my~everything's fine, no problems, no worries, just fine~face. But the moisture filled. The lids spilled. I'm not a crier. I've always tried to be tough.  In my mind the only thing crying accomplishes is making me feel worse, weak, emotionally unstable. 

Hold it together.

You can do this.

Things will get better.

Truth is, sometimes, the problems mount up. Problems that seem unending. Issues that seem impossible. I'm in the dark tunnel; walking, jogging, running...trying to see the light. I get tired. I busy myself in mindless things. I try not to look at it. But it's there. It's big; looming above, in front, beside and behind. There's no escaping it. Not tears, not tasks, not the fake smile. No...it's right here. 

So what do I do? I need help. 

I open my notebook. I read. It's my safe place, this $1.00 notebook. I hide my heart treasures within its covers; words, prayers, answered prayers, Scripture verses...they're all there. Words...some shared on this blog, others~things God has whispered to my soul during quiet time with Him. It's priceless. 

The first letters pop~"Faith Walk" This is no accident...no coincidence. The Scripture I wrote down months ago:
"Jesus answered, “Neither hath this man sinned nor his parents, but that the works of God should be made manifest in him." John 9:3

I continued to read...my writing about faith. It was before this trial, perhaps during another one...this life, full of them. Faith writing, faith in trials, faith in impossible: 
"Trials push us beyond our own strength. It asks us to look to God when we cannot bare the burden and weight. We are deceived in thinking we're sufficient in ourselves. We need to recognize our deficiency and seek Jesus' sufficiency DAILY, asking, "What would Jesus do in our situation?" 

He is our example. He always spent time with His Father. During His greatest trials, in the garden of Gethsemane, in heading to the Cross, He went and spent time alone, praying. The faith, trust, strength and endurance needed from God. He knew what was ahead. Jesus sat with His Father, it is there that He was filled.

I need filling. I need to be held. I need to know that this will work out for His good and perfect will.  

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

So I make a choice. I choose to sit and spend time with the Lord. I choose to be still. I find all things that I need for this moment, this day, right here with God. 

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

HIS GRACE is sufficient for me. HIS STRENGTH is made perfect in weakness. Thank you Lord!

Sitting at the Waters Edge of Life...

The wind whipped the sand. I turned my back to keep it from my eyes. I could scoot back, away from the oceans edge, but getting closer to God’s amazing beauty is why I came to the beach. The same can often be true in life, it may not always be easy or the ideal conditions to seek God. Some day’s you’re weary; soul parched. The last thing on your mind is getting closer to God; the day’s drag on, one blurring into another. But the Lord patiently calls out…"Draw near to Me. Let Me fill you up."

The sand continues to pelt my back. I sit. I write. I listen. The waves crash up to the edge of the shoreline, all power and strength, only to recede from whence it came. My leg dangling, the ledge recently created by the recent swell of hurricanes far off. I cannot see what’s happening underneath to raise the water up. But I know the water is hitting sand bars deep below, forming incredible, glorious, sometimes monstrous waves.

Most of us try to avoid life’s storms, crumbling as they relentlessly pound despite our best efforts…no visible end in sight. During these times it’s important to not lose sight of the ALWAYS PRESENT STRENGTH OF THE LORD.

“The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness; The Lord shakes the Wilderness of Kadesh.” Psalm 29:8

He can raise up great and majestic beauty in your life if you will call on Him. Cling to Him as a lifeline. Learn to trust fully in Him. As each wave hits the sandbar of your heart, call on Jesus. Ask for wisdom and guidance. He will not let you drowned. Don’t turn your back on Him any longer. It’s time to go deeper. Let Him bring beauty out of the storm, carrying you safely into the light…a rainbow shining brightly where once there was only darkness.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

I turn, I face the wind. The sand no longer hits my face. Nothing has changed other than I chose to face it head on.  The water closes in, spraying my face, and glasses. Refreshing salt mist has replaced hard sand pelts.

Things do not always stay the same. You may be in a difficult season right now. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up. Don’t lose faith.

“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

Turn your face to Jesus. He is waiting for you; interceding for you. He loves you. You are never alone. Look to Him!

“And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail;” Luke 22:31-32

Then Jesus said to them again, “Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who ever came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.” John 10:7-9

^"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" Matthew 6:26

Is Life's Bokeh Stealing Your Attention?

Lord, open my eyes to see You more clearly. To see the blessings. To see the love. To see You in the midst of trials, weariness, worry, anxiety...always to see You first. Let all other things fade, become less clear, like the bokeh on my new camera lens. Bokeh: a word mentioned often in photography. Something to strive to achieve in pictures. Bokeh, "the blur, or the aesthetic quality of the image; the out of focus areas in an image around the subject."

When I look to You Lord, You are teaching me to achieve the aesthetic quality of life. To blur out all struggles and strife around me and focus on You. First. Always first. Then and only then can I see the truth of Your life giving, life guiding, life saving love. I can be sure that You are taking care of the blurry areas of my life by focusing on Your clear image of love for me. Thank You Lord, in Jesus' name, Amen.

"Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore!" Psalm 105:4

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:25-26 & 33

LET ME!

story & photo by: lisa petrarca

Struggling under the weight of worry, fear and anguish over my son being attacked and kicked in the head...I found myself praying and listening to praise music all the way to work one day last week.

The burden was too heavy and I asked my Father in Heaven to please carry it for me. Continuing to feel the stifling heaviness as I exited the freeway, I pulled up behind a car. Staring at the license plate in front of me.

It hit like a brick between my eyes, as I read, "LET ME!"

I realized that I was holding on too tightly, I wasn't allowing the Lord to work in the situation. I was too focused, too close to the problem, my mind suffocatingly clamped over all that was going on, I wasn't allowing the Lord's peace to come in and take over. I needed to take a deep breath, mentally step back and allow my Heavenly Father to help me handle what I was feeling, with His immeasurable love, comfort and understanding.

As I sat in church a few days later, looking out the window as we sang, I noticed a father with two young children playing at the park. He was flying a kite while the little girl and boy ran around him, smiling, laughing, carefree...looking up at their father with complete and total trust and love.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to do the same with Him. Lay your problems and worry's down at His feet today. Spend some carefree time with Him, He will protect, guide and love you. He will handle all that you've been carrying, He is calling out to you, "LET ME!"

Job 26:1-4 "How you have helped the powerless! How you have saved the arm that is feeble! What advice you have offered to one without wisdom! And what great insight you have displayed! Who has helped you utter these words? And whose spirit spoke from your mouth?

Job 26:7-14 "He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness. The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at his rebuke...And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?"

The Man Child

by: Lisa Petrarca

The man stumbled toward me, all of his teeth were missing except a few broken, protruding yellow nubs. He smiled and told me he was on his lunch break. He had just started a job at the theatre down the street. He asked for some coffee to help him "sober up," before he went back so that he wouldn't lose his job.

I ran in the house, grabbed a hot cup of coffee, pushed open the door, and to my surprise, heading towards me was a large group of people from church with their arms full of food.

Spotting the man, they invited him to come and eat lunch with us.

Everyone was so warm and friendly. They ate, talked, laughed and included this man in their lives.

Right before my eyes, the man suddenly became a young child. He began to cry, worrying that he would be fired from his job if he was late getting back. Everyone gathered around to hug this small, scared child. Through his sobs, he told us that he needed this job to help feed his family.

Hearing this, I scooped up the young child in my arms & ran, carrying him, running as fast as I could so he wouldn't be late.

As I woke up, I tried to make sense of this dream. It wasn't until later that day when I spotted a homeless man, hidden from immediate sight, lying between two buildings, that it hit me. Our Heavenly Father sees these hurting, broken people as His children. Children who are in need of unconditional love. When one of His children crosses your path, are you reaching out and showing the love of our Savior Jesus Christ?

In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.
Isaiah 63:9

Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability, entirely on their own.
2 Corinthians 8:2-3

The Worry Table

In my daily "God's Little Devotional Journal" which I LOVE, I read this the other day and thought, "This is perfect for not just me, but everyone." So take a moment to see if you can relate.

The Worry Table

A military chaplain once drew up a worry table based upon the problems men and women had brought to him through his years of service. He found their worries fit into the following categories:

~ Worries about things that never happened-
40 percent.

~ Worries about past, unchangeable decisions-
30 percent.

~ Worries about illness that never happened-
12 percent.

~ Worries about adult children and friends (who were able to take care of themselves)-
10 percent.

~Worries about real problems-
8 percent.

According to his chart, 92 percent of all our worries are about things we can't control - things that are better left to God. The truths is, anxiety is rooted in a failure to trust God.

We simply don't believe He is big enough, or cares enough, to help with our problems, give us the desires of our hearts, and give us complete peace.

Once we know God's character, we can easily see how we worry for nothing most of the time. God is more than big enough and cares more than enough to help us, bless us, and protect us. Give your worries to Him, and He will replace them with His peace.

Note: I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.

Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Why Worry?

By: Lisa Petrarca

Recently I was thinking back on all the times in my life that I've worried. So many things that I've spent hours, weeks, months, and even years thinking about. Trying to figure out how I might fix each and every situation. I even thought of ways that I could get out of problems that I might face in the future. It was overwhelming to my senses, putting my feelings and emotions on high alert. The worry consumed my day, each nerve exposed, living on the surface, exploding time and time again throughout my daily activities. It wouldn't take much to send me into a frenzy. If I wasn't worrying about my life, then I worried about other people.

Worry became a Badge of Honor. I was strategizing and preparing for whatever was thrown at me so I would never be caught off guard. Worrying about others made me feel like a caring and good friend. I was trapped behind this false pretense.

Worry is a trap, a trick of the enemy. It keeps our minds so busy and overwhelmed that we can see nothing but the problems. We forget to pray and turn EVERYTHING over to the Lord and let Him handle it. We forget to trust and have faith that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He has given us a promise, all we have to do is LET GO. It is scary, but you've tried handling things yourself and you continue to feel stress, anxiety, disappointment and fear. LET GO, turn every single care and worry over to the Lord. You will find peace in every area of your life, no matter how difficult the situation. He is waiting and asking, "Why worry, I'm here to help you, let Me carry your burdens."

Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7

Don't Worry

I often worry about the little things in life, my schedule, work, income or lack of, messy home...but do these things really matter. When you have a large crisis in your life, is it okay to worry? It's human nature, unavoidable, but what does it help? After reading this story...you'll see that there is a way to stop worrying.

DON'T WORRY
-- Author Unknown

Years ago, I was enthralled as I listened to a pastor who for several years had faithfully served the church. His executive responsibilities had taken him all over this country. As he concluded his message, he told of one of the most frightening, yet thought-provoking, experiences of his life.

He had been on a long flight from one place to another. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: Fasten your seat belts. Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened."

As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us."

Then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightening lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying. The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm.

Then, I suddenly saw a little girl. Apparently the storm meant nothing to her. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was reading a book and every thing within her small world was calm and orderly. Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity,when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid." The minister could hardly believe his eyes.

It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark,our pastor lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time. Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.

The child replied, "'Cause my Daddy's the pilot, and he's taking me home."

There are many kinds of storms that buffet us:
• Physical,
• Mental,
• Financial,
• Domestic, and...
Many other storms can easily and quickly darken our skies and throw our plane into apparently uncontrollable movement. We have all known such times, and let us be honest and confess, it is much easier to be at rest when our feet are on the ground than when we are being tossed about a darkened sky.

Let us remember... Our Father is the Pilot. He is in control and taking us home... so Don't Worry.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
NIV