My Fear and Doubt

I often doubt myself, question whether I'm capable, good enough, and strong enough to do all that the Lord is prompting me to do. I question my abilities. In the areas I'm lacking, I feel the enemy constantly attacking me. One moment I feel confident and capable, knowing that if God is for me, who can be against me. "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31 (NIV) His strength and power is able to overcome my weaknesses. And then on other days, the enemy seems to be working overtime in the areas God is trying to free me up in.

I know that doubt, worry, anxiety and fear are not of the Lord. I know that when these feelings are overtaking me, I need to run to the Lord, open up His Word and fill up with truth to overcome the emotional manipulation of my human nature and the enemy. The Lord has a plan for each one of us. He does not expect us to feel 100% confident when He calls us, He just asks us to be available; available to allow Him to work in us and through us. We need to remember, even Moses felt inadequate when the Lord called him, "Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue. The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”  But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” Exodus 4:10-13 (NIV). He didn't speak well and yet the Lord was asking him to speak not only to the Pharaoh but the entire people of Israel. The Lord knew his worry, fear and doubt in his inadequacies and short comings. He still required Moses to lead, trust and rely on God because in his own abilities, he fell short in every way.

God often uses weak and unqualified people because of their humbleness. God knows that when His Glory shines through, people will get a glimpse of HIS great power, faithfulness and love. He works in and through open and willing vessels (people). If you're going through a season in life where change can feel overwhelming, remember that God is bigger than anything you face. He is attempting to do a work in your life. Do not shrink back. Move forward in HIM. He is wanting to show and shine His love and greatness in you. Trust in His ability to move the mountains, to calm the sea, to give you His words and wisdom. Stand in faith and watch Him work, letting go of fear and doubt. Let God work!

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." 1 Corinthians 16:13

Who Are You?

I used to forget who I was, letting the things of my past rush in, flooding me with old, self-deprecating feelings. The mistakes I'd made, things I'd done that hurt others and myself, filling my mind with self-hatred. I let those old feeling overwhelm me and bring me to a state of hopelessness.

"I'll never change. This is who I am. This is who I'll always be." These lies playing over and over in my mind. The enemy was trying to use my past to keep me 'locked up'...'ineffective'...and 'unproductive' for Christ and His purpose for me.

As I eventually confronted my painful past, I cried, prayed and read the Scriptures daily. I needed the Lord's healing love, comfort and forgiveness, as well as self-forgiveness. The more I reached out to Him the quicker I was comforted. My heart began to change. I started to feel His love being poured over the open wounds of my heart. Medicine for my infected soul. The more I called Him, the more He answered. His faithfulness restoring me to who I truly am. Not my sins, not my poor choices, actions or words. A kinder, loving, caring person who's been changed through the love of Jesus Christ. My old ways have been washed clean through Christ's sacrifice. I've been redeemed, restored and given a new beginning. I can truly be all that the Lord wants me to be and so can you. Call out to Him daily and be set free! Know who you are in and through Jesus Christ.

"I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him." Isaiah 57:18

"I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears to my cry for relief." You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear." O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life." Lamentations 3:55-58


For this is what the high and lofty One says-he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite."Isaiah 57:15

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him." Lamentations 3:25

"Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near." Isaiah 55:6

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you." Isaiah 60:1 

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 3:14

FREE-Lenny Kravitz & U2 Tickets!

We received free tickets to a U2 & Lenny Kravitz concert. We'd been looking forward to it all day...very excited. I drove (with my lead foot), making sure we'd arrive early. I didn't want to miss Lenny performing. As I was just about to turn into the paid parking ($25.00+) I noticed a sign off to my left which said, $1.00 Parking. In a split second decision, I checked my rear view mirror, ignoring the police waving me forward, swerved across 3 lanes to get into the left hand turn lane. I saw the $1.00 sign & NOTHING else mattered! The tail end of my car, unfortunately didn't make it all the way into the lane, cars were trying to get around me, horns blaring.

The policemen were glaring at us, shaking their heads...as we waited anxiously for the signal to turn green, uncomfortably avoiding their intimidating stares. When the light didnt change after 3 times, the cop started yelling at us. I was part way in the intersection in my attempt to get my rear end out of the fast lane...too far up to trigger the light, and someone was behind me stopping me from backing up. It was very stressful! When the light finally changed, I knew I'd still have to walk past the officer's after we parked. I was feeling incredibly anxious and didn't want to get out of the car. My night of fun was starting out full of stress and anxiety.

Sin can often affect you in the same way, making you feel guilty, believing everyone will know what you did and judge you for it. You start to avoid church, friends and family. You begin to isolate yourself. This is a trick of the enemy. He wants to get you alone, so the people who love you can no longer encourage and help pick you back up and lead you towards Christ's forgiving love.

Eventually I got out of car and reluctantly headed across the street. The police didn't notice or say anything to me as I walked with the crowd of people. I'm sure, had I been alone, it would've been a different story. I'd allowed a rash decision, stress, worry and fear, almost ruin my night.

Don't allow the enemy to continue to deceive you. Recognize his devices and grab hold of the outstretched hand of a friend or loved one. They are not there to judge you for your mistakes. The Lord has placed certain people in your life to help lead you back on the path towards peace, love and forgiveness.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God." Isaiah 41:9-10 

Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today." Exodus 14:13

"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy-to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." Jude 24-25

FINDING THE FAITH

photo & story by: lisa petrarca

Why is it so hard to learn to walk by faith? Some days I do well and other days I have to get on my knees and stay there until the fear, anxiety and negative thoughts disappear. I've learned to pray through these things.

On those days, my prayers also need to continue throughout my day, with each unsettling encounter, with each self defeating thought, because there is an enemy who wants to bring me and you down. He wants to see us fail.

Prayer and the scriptures is how you defeat him. Just as Jesus did when He was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, He was hungry, and satan came to tempt Him. Jesus came back at him with scriptures, quoting truth, quoting life sustaining wisdom, quoting His Father's words.

Jesus answered, "It is written: "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God" Matthew 4:19

Jesus answered him, "It is also written: "Do not put the Lord your God to the test" Matthew 4:7

Jesus said to him, "Away from me, satan! For it is written: "Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only." Matthew 4:10

Are you able to do this? When negative thoughts are flooding your mind like a tidal wave, drowning your confidence and self worth, are you able to stop it? Are you reading the scriptures daily, absorbing all that God is trying to reveal to you? He has given you a lifeline, a safety net, a boat to help you reach the other side without drowning. Stop treading water, you will eventually begin to sink. Grab hold of God's life jacket. He has given you the answers to all your questions, just reach out, open the scriptures and pray today.

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. Isaiah 32:17-18

O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress. Isaiah 33:2

Are You My Friend?

By: Lisa Petrarca

Imagine you had someone you thought was your friend and often listened to their advice. As the years went by, a pattern began to develop. Your life started falling apart. The friend was leading you down a destructive path.

You started making bad choices (drinking heavily, stealing, taking drugs, lying, cheating, pornography...fill in your issues). You started feeling depressed, unhappy and/or anxious. The things that were supposed to be so much fun and seemed cool in the beginning, now make you feel terrible. The more you went along with the friend the worse life became. You began to spiral out of control.

Once you finally realized the source, do you think you would continue to listen to anything the friend told you?

Would you eventually start to distance yourself from the friend?

..............................................................................................................................................................

This is exactly how the enemy works. He makes us think that something is fun, it doesn't matter if we don't feel right about it, it's no big deal.

He whispers over and over again, "Come this way. Just take that drug or take another drink, look at that pornography, it's only a small lie, if you take it they wont even miss it, it's no big deal."

Little by little you have allowed the enemy to guide you down a self destructive path. One small, wrong choice at a time, until you no longer recognize who you are.

This is why you need to distance yourself from him. Your prayer life and daily scripture reading will force the enemy away, he will flee, he is not your friend, do not allow him into your life.

Jesus has given you the ultimate gift. He has sacrificed his life and was risen on the third day, so that you will be forgiven, saved and have eternal life with Him.

This Easter, take time to reflect on His love for you. Stop and take a few minutes to look at not only your life, but your choices. Are there some areas that you need to make some adjustments?

Don't waste the gift that Jesus has given you. He is your TRUE FRIEND...He gave His life for you. Take this opportunity to start over...Jesus Christ has made it possible. HE IS RISEN!

Take His offering!

Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. for if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection. Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him.

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.

For sin shall not have dominion over you, for youare not under law but under grace.
Romans 6:4-8, 12, 14

Happy Easter.

The River Man

Photos & Story By: Lisa Petrarca

Van Damme State Park-Fern Forrest

It was about 40 degrees and misting as we walked down the path. The lush, moss covered trees and ferns to our left, the grumble of the rushing water to the right. It was the picture perfect moment.

He could not resist the flat stump that stood directly in front of the small waterfall.

Running towards it with the enthusiasm of a 10 year old boy discovering a secret hidden treasure, he shouted, "Hey...take my picture, it'll look like I'm standing in the middle of the river."

I fumbled around in my bag pulling my camera out, popping the lens off and fiddling with the settings.

I looked up, just as he jumped onto the smooth, flat surface of the wood.

The "sturdy" stump, shot straight into the air, as his body splashed into the icy water below.

Frantically his first instinct was to save the phone in his pocket, ripping it out of his jacket, holding it high in the air, while flapping his free hand, trying to paddle his way to the side of the embankment.

I was shocked...I managed to snap a quick, blurry picture as he came out, covering my mouth with my free hand to stifle the laugh that was threatening to escape.

Double Click for Larger View

The stump was actually a two inch floating piece of wood. It deceptively sat above the water inviting unsuspecting adventurers to stand on it!

What is the "stump" in your life? What is deceiving you and tempting you to walk away from the path?

Don't continue to be fooled by the enemy. Stay on the path that Jesus Christ has shown you by His example and sacrifice.

Let the Lord be your guide!

O' Lord
By: Lisa Petrarca

Calm my soul O' Lord
Lift my spirit
Give me the strength and faith to continue in it

Your love knows no bounds O' Lord
Set my feet back on solid ground
Direct my path and turn my life around

Freedom you bring O' Lord
Complete peace of mind
Into your loving arms O' Lord my life I assign

I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.
Romans 16:17-18

To give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."
Luke 1:77-79