Smacked In The Face-My Bad Behavior

I raced up the stairs. I was late. Nothing new for me. The colors were everywhere, purple, pink, orange, green; all tightly bound...ready to be released in a fury. A sigh escaped as I moved in tightly. More colors arrived, pushing into the crowded half circle; glares, stares and chatter filled the air. The door opened signaling the beginning of the battle. A stampede pushing in. I joined them. My aggressive personality always serving me well to get what I want, when I want it. I raced to the corner, unwinding the bind, laying down one mat and then another beside it. A loud "UHHH!" filled the air as I ignored it and rolled out.

Last week the same person who said, "UHHH!" had busted in on my spot and literally dropped her mat directly on top of mine. I was the one angry and making unpleasant noises. I was determined to "win" this week. My competitive nature and temperament kicking in. "Oh no you didn't!"

But as I laid on my mat, preparing for the always overcrowded class to begin, something began to tug at my heart, to whisper, "I have called you to be a servant, to show Christ-like love in any and ALL circumstances. There it was, the correcting of my bad behavior. Throughout the class I tried to justify it in my mind but couldn't shake the truth. As the class was winding down a CRAZY thought entered my mind, "Apologize to her." What? She did it to me last week! I won this week.

Again, "Apologize, you aren't showing Christ-like love." UGH...conviction.

Let's get one thing straight, I struggle not only with always wanting to win, but also apologizing. I'm a justifier (yes, more areas for Jesus to work on and repair.)

It was unshakeable and I knew what I had to do. The claps signaled the class was over. Time to show up and show how Jesus is working in my heart , mind and life. I got up and walked over to the lady who had set up directly behind me during the class. I leaned in...boom...boom...boom, my heart was pounding in my ears. Can she hear it too?

"I need to apologize to you for busting in on the spot you wanted. It wasn't very Christ-like of me. She smiled cordially and said, "That's okay." "No, really, I am sorry. I knew you wanted that spot and I pushed my way in. It was not Christ-like. Next week I'll make sure I'm behind you." She grinned, her aging eyes crinkling at the corners (yes, she was an older woman). Could it get any worse for me and my bad behavior? She graciously said, "This class is really crowded and I call myself a wall flower...I do like to be up against the side wall." Smiling I replied, "Well next week it's yours!" She giggled and thanked me. She stood up, rolled up her mat and stood there lingering a bit. I think she was a little surprised and caught off guard. I gathered my things and took the opportunity to introduce myself. She held out her hand and said, "I'm Mandy." "Nice to meet you Mandy...next week I won't be so aggressive," I replied. She laughed out loud as we said our goodbyes.

My son Elijah was there witnessing my behavior and my apology. I want to be a true example of who Jesus is; what He does when He enters the heart. I'm grateful for the reminders. The correction, for it's in those moments that the Teacher is teaching and the student is learning. 

Lord, today please help me to be a true reflection of You. Help me to overcome my weaknesses. I need You to continually remind me of where I'm falling short; renewing my brokenness with Your healing touch. I say these things in your Mighty and Holy Name, Jesus, Amen.

"You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them."~John 13:13-17

I will bring the one–third through the fire,
Will refine them as silver is refined,
And test them as gold is tested.
They will call on My name,
And I will answer them.
I will say, ‘This is My people’;
And each one will say, ‘The Lord is my God.”~Zechariah 13:9

Beyond Embarrassment

story & photo by: lisa petrarca

Driving home from Newport Beach, California, today in a sea of Bentley's, Mercedes Benz, BMW's, Lamborghini's, and Porsche's...a loud, grumbling, rumbling, clanking noise came up along side me. As I turned to see what was causing such a commotion, a rusty spotted, beat up station wagon drove quickly by. It was quite an eye sore and definitely drew attention.

I noticed all the expensive car owners were staring at it in disgust. But the owner didn't seem to notice or mind. It was serving it's purpose, getting him from point A to point B.

I sat waiting for the light to change, thinking about how often we try to blend into our environment and the people around us. We're embarrassed or afraid to stand out or be different. As followers of Christ, that's exactly how we are supposed to be...a light to others, a change from a world filled with stress, hurt and anger.

We can overcome the fear and stand up for what we believe in by showing the unconditional love of Christ through our actions. Reaching out, stepping outside our comfort zone and helping others in need, through prayer, words of encouragement and loving kindness.

We are different because we have been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. This gift helps us, gives us wisdom, peace and discernment in our time of need. Then we can be used to help others going through similar circumstances.

When you find yourself in a human nature situation...stop, pray and ask the Lord to fill you with HIS peaceful, confident, trustworthy spirit of hope and wisdom. Ask the Lord to use you to be a light in the lives of others. Don't be afraid to stand up and make a difference. We are here to do the Lord's will for our lives (point A) and one day return home to our Heavenly Father to spend time and all eternity in His loving embrace (point B).

Shine His light within you on those around you.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that if yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent It. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thorn bush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed."
Isaiah 55:8-13